The eight people you’ll meet at the movie theatre

The best part about walking into a movie theatre is the smell of popcorn. The faint crackle, pop, crackle, pop, shake you hear from cinema employees popping and serving the delicious, salty, probably way too fatty treat. Then there are those new, really awesome, customized pop dispenser machines that allow you to choose one out of over 100 drink options before your show. I’m not a pop drinker, but if I have a coupon for a free beverage at the movies, Lord knows I’m stopping to explore the options and spend the next one to three hours sipping on a way-too-sugary flavoured drank that will make me bloat and make my teeth feel grainy and achy. Doesn’t get much better than that!

However, the worst part about going to see a movie on a weekend night are the people. Don’t get me wrong, I love working with people and sharing stories and experiences with them, learning from them and especially have a great time with even greater people.

I, for one, thrive off positivity, but last night, the people at the movie theatre totally bursted my bubble of excitement for Catching Fire, the second move in The Hunger Games trilogy (which was extremely well done, by the way). Here are the eight people that I interacted with last night:

1. The OMG-I-cannot-believe-how-cute-Josh-Hutcherson-is pre-teens who love any #trendingtopic, even if it sucks. They may have been the ones who participated in the #SaveJustinBieber nonsense. They’re the ones in line behind you talking about all the romance rumours published in J-14 magazine.

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2. The three guys who go see a movie together (OMG DATE NIGHT) and try to butt in line.

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3. The “Oh-sorry-my-friend-said-she-was-coming-tonight-so-I-saved-her-a-seat-and-piled-eight-coats-on-the-seats-after-her-potential-seat” person, normally looking at you with a fake smile and fake sympathy eyes. Inside, this person is probably cackling up a storm, “Muahaha, you have to sit at the back!”

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4. The poutine eating, burping guy who is probably sitting in his chair like he’s on his bed. Oh, and he definitely has his arm on your armrest.

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5. The guy who smells like his clothes haven’t been washed in eight months, because they’ve been sitting in the dryer and letting the water and bacteria mix together until all the clothes smell. Horrible. This dude basically smells like a rotting, wet towel.

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6. The whisperers. They usually get a few “SHHHHHHHHHs” throughout the movie.

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7. The people who don’t know how to whisper, so they talk in voices so far from “library” that everyone in your row is giving them death stares. 

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8. The extremely loud popcorn crunchers who smack their lips, pick their teeth and choke on their food, all while continuing to chew like animals.

Who have you met in the movie theatre?

xo

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